The Lights, The Lights, The Lights...

Most of the time when I get ready to write a blog, I have some alone time with God (usually while doing dishes or going somewhere because I am a multi-tasker to a fault), and that inspires me to pour some of the overflow of my heart through my keyboard and onto... the internet? Yes. Onto this blog. Why? Because it helps me to process and remember things better. Also because many times I have read someone's blog and been inspired, moved, or motivated, just by their everyday life. So I pay it forward.
Also to help keep me inspired. I often have some dessert and a glass of milk next to me. I'll grab that in a sec. Sugar keeps me going. Haha.
So yesterday marked the nine year anniversary of when my husband and I got married. Many people go on a romantic date on their anniversary. We didn't. Instead we packed the kids up and drove 2 hours to the other side of the island and spent the day in Hilo! The free zoo there was fun and after lunch we went to a little place called Coconut Island. You walk over on a foot bridge and there is a very small island with areas to swim. Afterwords we walked around in a beautiful garden that had MANY mosquitoes. It was over all a very good day. My favorite part though was on the way back. The road that goes across the island is called Saddle Road and reaches an elevation of 6,600 feet. You go up, up, up... and then come back down. On this road is where  you can access the visitors center and the observatory on the dormant volcano; Mauna Kea. (The Tallest mountain in the world).
Let me paint the picture for you.
All three kids are asleep in the back seat, We see the last of the sun go down behind the mountains and it's light disappears. We are out in the middle of nowhere on this road that has no street lights, and we have Coldplay playing softly.
The stars were AMAZING. If we thought our little wind up car could have climbed the hill we would have gone to the observatory, but even from our car we could see the stars so well. Beautiful.
I could have looked at them forever. It just blows your mind to see the heavens and how amazing they are. Two feelings went through me. First I felt so small and insignificant, and He felt SO BIG.
How excellent is Your name in all the earth, Who have set Your glory above the heavens! When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, The moon and the stars, which You have ordained, What is man that You are mindful of him, And the son of man that You visit him? PSALM 8:1,3-4

Then I felt... so loved. Who am I that He is mindful of me? But He IS. Who am I that He would speak to me? But He DOES. Because of Him, I am significant. This meme that  you see popping up all over Facebook, just became so real for me. Sometimes we desperately need to go somewhere new and gain fresh perspective on life. I had become so stuck in my little world that I lost sight of the big picture. I am so grateful for the beauty of creation that is always testifying to the greatness of it's Creator. 
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Dirt, Mess, Chaos, and Freedom.

I was watching a live stream of  Susi Childers speak the other day. I think it was two days ago. She spoke on how our relationship with God changes through the different phases of our life. It was interesting to me because I hadn't thought of how much things changing and the different stages we were in, would affect how I relate to God.
So I thought I would throw this video in here in case you would like to see her speak, she is a great speaker and I appreciated what she shared.  (She doesn't start speaking until about 54 Minutes in! But there is some great worship in the beginning if you want to see it, or you can just skip ahead.)
Livestream Video of Susi Childers

But I was also thinking about how I had mentioned earlier how dirty kids show me that at the end of the day they have had a great time.
Exhibits A., B., and C.

 


Have you ever had a time where you just went all in and didn't care about the mess? And it was great? I remember a few different times in Panama back when we lived there. One was playing soccer right after it rained. It rains a lot in Panama. Now I'm not good at soccer, but it can be fun to run around and kick a ball at people. Just saying. Ha! Anyway, we went up to play and as we started playing the mud was caking onto our shoes and making it impossible to run. So we did away with the shoes. We just played and we were FULL of mud. It was fun! Another time was when it was raining (I'm telling you it rains a lot in Panama), and instead of moping around inside, I ran outside and played, and danced in the rain with some of the other girls from my DTS and a couple of our DTS staff ladies.
There is something so freeing and there is a sweet release when we just go ALL in and don't care about the mess along the way. The rain was a bit easier to clean up than the mud. But they were still times that I will never forget.
How often do we have to hold onto control and we try to keep the reins tightly in our hands and make sure we know which way everything is going to go? As if we could really control things? I do this so often. I see it in the way I'm watching my kids and I try to let my self relax more often and let them do those fun things that are going to make bath time more interesting and laundry a little harder. Because those are the times they will remember. I highly doubt they will remember having clean clothes at the end of the day. That would be an impossible goal anyway!
Following God can get messy sometimes. But it's a beautiful mess. Only God can make beauty out of chaos.

Genesis 1 King James Version (KJV)

1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

Sounds like in the beginning it was a little chaotic!

I recently read this quote;
"Chaos in the beginning is something else—the first and crucial stage of creation, and just about every creation myth I’ve ever read, from the Bible to Greek myths to native folk tales, confirms this is so. Chaos precedes order." - Dale M. Kushner
So interesting. And it's true! Sometimes it seems like things have to be crazy for a while before order comes. I remember when our room would get really messy as a kid and my mom would come in and literally throw ALL of our stuff into a pile in the middle of the floor. Then we would throw away the stuff we didn't need and try to put all of the other stuff away before she thought we didn't need it anymore and decide to throw it away herself! Chaos became order. 
I want to learn to embrace these moments that at the time can feel so out of control, and so chaotic. Because God works through chaos. If God has called you into something, know that there will be moments of craziness! But if God has called you to it, the end result will be beautiful. He is an artist. You can see that in creation everywhere you go. Other artists spend so much time trying to capture the original art that is all around us. Because it is so unique. Each person and situation is unique. 
I will leave you with this song by Gungor. I love how songs can just allow God to speak to our hearts in a way that nothing else can. At least for me it can be that way. 
The song is Beautiful Things by Gungor and here are just some of the lyrics from the chorus, let them sink in;
'You make beautiful things / You make beautiful things out of the dust / You make beautiful things / You make beautiful things out of us'

Gungor - Beautiful Things - Youtube