Friday, June 26, 2015

New Every Morning

Things are stirring here on the YWAM base at University of the Nations in Kona. This is part of the YWAM life, it's bringing back so many memories. Discipleship Training Schools (DTS's) and so many other schools are either coming to an end or getting ready to go on their outreaches to other countries. The constant change brings a freshness and an excitement that you just don't see everywhere. It really helps you to see that 'His mercies are new every morning'!
Lamentations 3:22 - 23 (ESV)
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end;
They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.

What an amazing thing! What a great promise! It can be so easy to forget when life silently falls into a routine and we lose sight of the new things God wants to do in our lives. I think of how much my 4 year old daughter (K) really doesn't like change. She resists it. K wants to wear the same dresses, play with the same people, always wear the same shoes...and so on. But being part of a family that is open to wherever the Lord is leading has forced her to confront this very often. Because God often tells it's time for a change! It is so good for her. As much as I don't love the backlash that comes from a move, or people leaving, I know it is helping her to grow. I know how she feels, because often in the beginning I am resistant to change as well. My goal is to help her to lean on a God who NEVER changes but has new things for her all the time. I want Him to be our constant that we can hold on to.

Tomorrow (Friday) is the premier of all the short films that the students have made during the School of Digital Film Making and the School of Acting for the Screen. Nathaniel has two films that will be premiered and we couldn't be more proud. K will have her 'acting debut' as well. She is in two of the films. (One of them being her daddy's final project). I have seen some of the footage and I am really looking forward to seeing the finished product. He has put so much into his work. And so have all of his other classmates.

This weekend and next week we will be saying goodbye to many of our new friends, some of whom we will see for a few days when they return from outreach. So now we enter a new phase.
The excitement the students and staff have of expecting God to do something great during outreach is contagious. We will keep them in our prayers. Nathaniel will have a few days off where we will really enjoy having him around and then he begins his internship.

I know so many people have been praying for us, and we are grateful. I can feel the support of prayer. Please continue to pray for us as we start this new phase of life. After the internship ends at the end of September our hope is to head back to WI for a little bit and visit, then make our way down through Ohio to visit my sister, Virginia to visit Nathaniel's sister, and then have enough time to make it to North Carolina where my parents live for the baby to come. So many exciting things coming and we have a lot to look forward to!
At Rainbow Falls

Our little girl! AKA Baby Bean #3 at 21 weeks

Playing with friends and beating the heat!



Monday, June 22, 2015

Alert and Thankful

I was doing my Bible reading one night a few nights ago in Colossians. There was one particular verse that really stood out to me. Paul says to the church in Colosse   To "Devote themselves to prayer with ALERT minds and THANKFUL hearts". (Chapter 4 verse 2, emphasis my own). It made me think about why he had to say that. I pray often through the day. I could do better, you always can but I feel I often try to have a running dialogue with God. So why did this verse pop out at me so much? 
It struck me that as a woman, we are good multitaskers. I for one, often feel the need to be doing one thing while I am doing another. Like I am eating a late night snack as I write this! Hehe. So I am often doing something else or, like when I pray for the kids at night I am sometimes even thinking of something else, while I pray. Trying to do more than one thing at once. How can I feel God giving me the words to pray or even hear an answer from Him if I am not actually listening or paying attention!? Also I often hear people pray or I often start praying when I am upset, frustrated, stressed, or worried. Etc. But God has done so much for us, why would we not praise Him? So not to just speak to him with problems but to also come to Him when we are thankful, and to remember to thank Him when He answers prayers or provides for us. Paul knew the importance of setting apart times where you are just focusing on prayer, and talking to God. Why would he say to be alert? What are we being alert to? God! He is the one we are having a conversation with so we should be alert to His gentle prompting. He can be very subtle and you can often miss what He is saying completely if you are paying no attention. A conversation should be both ways. 
Anyway I obviously was very convicted by this! I have so many areas I need to work on and this is one of them. I just hope this can inspire someone else too. Because God loves to speak to His children. 

Friday, June 12, 2015

Nothing's gonna hold me back...

So in a previous post I remember mentioning how exhausted I was. Well I was, but this is a whole new level. At the end of April K started having a bad cough. It's something that's going around and also a health issue I believe I need to figure out with her (a food intolerance of some sort that pulls her immune system down so much that every time she gets sick it turns into this nasty cough that lasts for weeks). So sleep started getting interrupted on a regular bases by her coughing fits. I have taken her in two different times to the doctor and each time they could find nothing wrong with her and thought I was a little crazy. Sigh. Such is my life. Then, just as she was finally showing improvement at the end of May G started coughing. No!! Also I got the news about my Grandma. G's cough turned bad quickly and I took him in knowing this was different than K's. He couldn't breath during coughing fits and ended up puking one time. It was so scary. Then he was diagnosed with whooping cough. 
Oh.... The guilt. I had prayed and read about vaccines and which ones to do if I should do them before we moved, and that was one of the vaccines I had felt I should get them up to date on. And a few others. Living in community is a whole different ball game and I had felt I should get them up to do date on some things. Well I got pregnant and was so morning sick, I put it off and figured I'd do it in Hawaii. Then its so hard to get around here and insurance took so long to get together that I put it off again. All lame excuses. But that's how it went down. My poor baby. And of course we were quarantined to our room while the antibiotic ran its course so he would no longer be contagious. (K didn't have it). During this time my Grandma passed away. 
To put it lightly, I have a bucket of tears ready at each eye for whoever asks me how I'm doing. Bring a towel if you plan on asking me so you can clean up the mess please. Being pregnant, tired, and sad puts all your emotions out there like nothing else. 
At the same time, God always brings hope and healing. During worship two weeks ago they played a song and the chorus says;
'Nothing's gonna hold me back, Nothing's gonna keep me, from loving you for all you are worth'. 
I know in the song this is meant to be us singing this to God. And yes!! That's how it should be. NOTHING should hold me back, because I was made to love Him and He deserves my love through all situations. Also my kids, that nothing should hold me back from loving them because this is a precious time and I need to use it wisely. 
But that day when I was singing that song, we sang the chorus quite a few times. And I felt God switching it around. I felt HIM saying that to ME. 
Guys I almost broke down there in front of everybody. Bring out the towels. 
'Nothing's gonna hold me back, Nothing's gonna keep me, from loving you for all you are worth'. 

NOTHING. 
Not me not doing me quiet time, not me ignoring his prompting and procrastinating. Not me losing my patience with my kids because my fuse is ridiculously short right now... The list goes on. 

NOTHING. 

And that grace is what pulls you back in. Back to putting it all in his arms again and letting him take control. Asking for forgiveness and starting fresh. 
His mercies are new every morning. Thank you God. 

G is improving greatly although he still has coughing fits so please keep him in your prayers. K as well because that never ending cough is still present. Right now My husband's parents are here while his dad works on finishing up his Executive Masters program through University of the Nations. It is so good to have them here! N's pitch for a movie won along with two others (out of 12) for one of the final projects. So proud of him! Of course now he is working like a mad man to get that finished since he is the Director. So also pray for sleep and energy for him!
Thank you for listening to my blubbering. Here is a cute picture to bring a smile to your faces. (K and G ready to go see Grandma and Grandpa Tracy)