Friday, July 31, 2015

Baby Worshiper

Every Monday morning and every Thursday evening here at the U of N campus we have corporate worship. Before the actual meeting you can hear the drums going and the people singing as they practice their set list for that day. As soon as K hears it she gasps and says, "Mommy we are missing worship!!".
"No honey they are practicing, we will go down when it starts..." Every Monday and Thursday.
I love her worshiper heart. She loves to dance and sing and raise her hands in worship. She doesn't always last the whole time, especially if she doesn't know the song, but her excitement to be there is so good for me. Often on Monday mornings I'm exhausted and just wishing I could have a cup of coffee (The baby has put it's foot down and no longer lets me feel ok when I drink coffee), but K is ready and telling me to hurry so we don't miss it.
I also love worship. So many times when my heart is twisting with frustration and heavy with whatever is going on, worship is where I can let that all go and cry out to my Father again. It's always been something I loved. I'm so glad she pushes me to go sometimes even when I don't feel like it right away. Thursdays they even have a kid's class with snacks, but K finds that overwhelming and says she would rather come with me to worship.
You can learn so much from children. There was a short time where she just sat in the stroller completely uninterested in worship. This was so sad to me. I tried to figure out why. I'd often let her go and play with the other kids during the meeting instead of staying close and then I was worried trying to chase after her and G hoping they didn't fall and get hurt or make a really loud noise. My worship time ended up being fruitless. It almost seemed pointless to go. Finally after talking to some other mom's, including my mother in law, I decided I need to keep the kids close to me. I sat down with K and G (although G wouldn't really understand being only 2) and explained that they would be staying close to me, and I told them that we go to worship because because He loves to hear us sing praises to Him and we want to sing to Him because we are so happy and grateful for all He has done because He loves us. I put together a bag with a blanket, toys, coloring books and now I have added snacks. After the songs (Or on Monday since it's only worship and no talking, I say after a few songs) they can sit on the blanket, play with the toys and eat their snack.
It doesn't always work the best. We had a few training moments. Last week I thought it was amazing because they got through a whole 2 hour meeting no problem and I was astounded. (God knew I needed that meeting!) This week we didn't last as long but still, when that music turns on, I see the kids dancing and it melts my heart. K sometimes just seems to really be praising God and I pray that is something that stays so strong in her. I snapped a couple of pictures tonight. So you know she obviously wasn't just mimicking me, because I wasn't paying great attention but instead I was taking pictures! It brought tears to my eyes watching her. But then propelled me to put down my ipod quickly and focus on God. One picture is blurry because she is dancing but it is so sweet I added it anyway.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

His Plans

When I was a little girl I remember always playing that I got married and had kids. Besides every once in a while being 'deserted on an island', that was usually our go to game. Family. I always loved babies, I would hold them every chance I got and play with them. When I got old enough, I baby sat. I remember hopping on my bicycle when I was about 14 or so and riding around our neighborhood out in the country and introducing my self to families and letting them know I babysat and giving them my number. (I think back on that now and some of those people had me babysit and had never met me before!! Craziness.)
I sought out taking care of kids. My first 'real' job was as a swimming instructor to young kids. I still miss that job because I loved it.
It is just part of the American Dream that I always figured I would have to finish high school, Go to college and THEN think about raising a family. When I met my husband we still both really had that mentality. I was 17 when we were finally 'official' and he was 18. He had plans to go to college for aviation and I was going to go to college in Chicago for nursing. Besides thinking it would be really fun to live in Chicago, I really didn't want to go to college. I love the medical field but at that time I felt NO desire to be going to school. Nathaniel at first would have been only a couple hours away from me, but then that option wouldn't work out and the only other option was him going to Arizona for school. The more we prayed and tried to figure things out, the less we felt going to college was our next step. Our parents prayed, we prayed, and through that time we eventually decided to get married quickly (we had three months to plan the wedding) and go do a five month Discipleship Training School in Panama. I was 18 and he was 19 when we married.
It was so out of the normal, and yet it felt just right for us. Many people advised us against getting married so young but we knew what God had told us. It has been 8 years and we have two kids and another on the way. It hasn't always been easy, we had a lot of growing up to do together and still do! But I do believe God led us and we have been walking in His leading ever since.
I was talking to a girl yesterday. She was my age and she asked about when I got married and everything. She looked SO discouraged to find out I already had two kids and another on the way and had already been married for 8 years. I almost thought she was going to cry. My heart went out to her and I really didn't know all what to say. Now I was encountering the opposite of what I usually heard, and here was a girl who was wondering if she had done something wrong and that was why she wasn't married yet. She said she had never really had a boyfriend and asked if that was bad. Oh how the lies of this world can mess with your mind! Of course that's not wrong! She always prayerfully considered a man and became his friend first and was led by God. Just because you are doing it the right way, doesn't mean it will happen right away. I tried to encourage her and tell her how awesome and great it was that she was waiting and that it took so much strength. Living a life where you are being led by God is not always easy, and it doesn't usually go as you planned. Two years ago Hawaii was not even a location in my mind that I thought we would ever live. But I am taught something new every place we go. I am SO blessed that my childhood dream of getting married and becoming a mommy happened early and I wouldn't change a thing. But I look up to the women who don't lower their expectations and won't settle for less than God has for them because they know they are the daughters of the Most High King and He has just the right one for them! And I also have a great respect for those women that have accepted that God will be the only One and they have learned how to love him for all they are worth.
It would be so hard to do life on your own. I can't imagine going through the drama of boyfriend, husband, two years of infertility, and now being a mom and moving constantly, all by myself. I am so grateful to be led.
One of my favorite verses and one that always challenges me is:
Jeremiah 29:11 'For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'
So much comfort in that verse. And when I pray about the future, there are desires in my heart, and things that I want to do, but at the same time I feel that the time for that will come and right now I need to keep at the task at hand. Supporting Nathaniel through this journey while at the same time being the best mom I can. So that leaves me with plenty of homework and things to keep me busy!
The safest place is in God's will. There's no place that I'd rather be.


Monday, July 13, 2015

Tender Care

1 Thessalonians 5:14 - 19 (NLT)
'Brothers and sister, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone. See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people. Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. Do not stifle the Holy Spirit. '

Another mommy blog. I read this and I see some simple instructions for me as a mom, as a wife. Do I warn my kids when they are being lazy? Or do I let them stay lazy? Nathaniel pointed out to me how much I was just carrying G around or pushing G and K around in the stroller. Not that it's bad to carry your kids but really the cafeteria is right by our house and it's good for them to get some walking in. Especially as the baby is coming soon and it just makes my hip hurt to carry G or push the stroller. I can cheer them on as they march up the steps to go eat and say what a great job they are doing. Kids feel accomplishment when they achieve something. Am I encouraging then when they are scared to do something? To stand up when they need to? Am I being patient with them? (NO!) Am I teaching them to be patient? (Hard to learn if they don't have a good example). Teach them to do good in all situations even when evil has been done to them? We get to practice this one a lot lately. Not that the kids here are evil, but kids are kids and don't always do the nicest things to each other, and I need to show them how to respond. Always be joyful! When I was morning sick and felt so gross I tried to still model being joyful even when I didn't feel good. An easy thing to practice in a community, because you get lots of opportunities. Every meal time, when I would feel awful I would work hard to still greet people with a smile and wave. I want my kids to learn to do the same. I encourage them to smile back at all the nice people that think they are so cute and love to say hi to them. I want them to be courteous. It can really make a persons day having a little kid smile big and greet them.
Never stop praying... Oh that still needs work. Always a work in progress. Also being thankful in all circumstances.
But one that really struck me was to not stifle the Holy Spirit. Oh I remember when I was single, or married with no kids and when I would pray and ask to hear from God how quickly He would answer me. Not always. But much of the time. Why do I not use such a valuable tool in my daily life in one of the most important jobs I have ever had?! Raising kids! If I would simply take a second and quickly ask God how to handle a situation when it arises with my kids or my husband, how much better would the outcome be? It doesn't take long really, although it may take me a little time to get back into practice. All I can think about right now is how invaluable that information or gentle nudge from God would be. I could protect my children's little hearts so much if I had better direction on how to discipline them and guide them. Sometimes I feel so lost or I really know that I blew it in a situation, (probably my whole apartment building knows and shakes their head about how I could have handled that much better!) But I have the Holy Spirit saying, 'Do not stifle me!'. And I stifle away. We even had a mom's meeting where the speaker talked about this some. How much God can help guide us as we raise our kids if we just ASK him too! Lord I'm asking!! I'm ready for guidance. I'm ready. At least I am tonight. When they are sleeping and so peaceful! Haha. I have so much to be thankful for. Especially coming home tonight to see my husband had cleaned. This pregnant lady almost cried. From grumpy to weepy in a second. So cliche. Grateful for him and for my energetic kids who went to bed with no problem tonight. Counting my blessings!
These are just my thoughts. Things I need to be mindful of, and work on continuously. I want to be tender again to the Holy Spirit and His guidance. Being a mom doesn't change my ability to hear from Him.
And I need to tenderly care for these little hearts that God has entrusted me with. Sometimes the ones closest to you can hurt you the most and I don't want that to be me with my kids. I want to nurture them and to protect them. The best way for me to do that is to let God work on MY heart and let his love overflow onto my family. Instead of my pregnancy hormones that mostly seem to generate overflowing grumpiness. I chose love.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Tracy Newsletter - Transitions

Transition





Nathaniel and His Class

On June 30th (which was also our 8th anniversary!), Nathaniel graduated from the School Of Digital Film making through the University of the Nations. We are so proud of him! He did very well in the school, and has already been asked to help with several short films while he is doing the next step, which is the three month internship. On the 26th of June it was 'Premier Night' for his school where they showed all of the short films that were made during the last three months. Nathaniel had two films, and one of them had K as one of the stars. So it was also her debut as an actress! They were both very excited. The films were so fun to watch and it was so great to see all they had accomplished. Of course I am rather partial to Nathaniel's films. His first was entitled; 'The Door' and it was about the trap of falling into temptation and the second was 'Perception', all about a man who threw away everything, simply because he was not realizing all that he already had.

Starting officially tomorrow is the internship for the film school. He will gain more experience in filming, and get to work with people who have more experience. Also he will have a chance to shoot another short film since the equipment is available for him to use while he is doing the internship. This school officially ends on September 23rd. Our hope, and our plan as of now is to travel back to Wisconsin soon after, visit for a little while and then road trip down to North Carolina where my parents live and have the baby there. We will stop and visit my sister and his sister along the way. (Quickly of course so that we get there in time!)
The Miracle Nap
Right now on base it is 'transition week'. Other schools left on outreach, or went home, and tomorrow is 'arrival day' where all the people for the next quarter show up. It won't be as busy as last quarter though. It's so very different during transition week. The base is so quiet. It's rather peaceful! As I am writing this I just hear the sweet sounds of the birds outside and our fans blowing on me. BOTH kids are napping so I am seizing the moment. We had a couple of days where some friends let us use their car and we were able to go to the other side of the island and see some water falls, a small zoo, and go to a small mall! It was a fun little road trip and good for our family to spend some quality time together.

I was blessed to find a place as staff this quarter. I get to help two times a week at the boutique that I wrote about earlier where God provided a stroller for us! It is such a great ministry and I am happy to do what I can to help. It also helps lower our living costs on base if I am staff. A win, win situation!
Baby bean #3 is doing well (we are 24 weeks along now) and we found out that we will be having a girl! So excited for the fun little girl clothes to come. G is over his whooping cough and I am so grateful for the different things I found to help him through that time. I really felt God's hand over that whole situation. Please keep K in your prayers as she still has a cough that is just not wanting to be shaken. The doctors have no idea what it's from. Part of it could be the polluted air here because of the volcanic ash that is in the air. It can make it really hard for people to get over coughs. We are also trying to keep her away from dairy to see if that helps. Hard for a Wisconsin girl. Prayer for finances is also appreciated as we start looking at the prices for tickets back to the mainland, and the cost of getting down to NC. It can seem a little overwhelming at times, but we really feel that God will provide.
Hopefully soon I will be able to share Nathaniel's short films so you all can see them. I know that makes him nervous, but I think they are wonderful! Also K is such a cute little actress.  We hope you all are doing well!

Blessings from the Tracy family!

Family Selfie On the 4th of July

Send offerings and support to:
Good News Christian Center, 2293 Prairie Ave. Beloit, WI 53511.
Make checks payable to: GNCC with the memo saying 'support for Nathaniel and Elizabeth Tracy'.
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