Tracy Newsletter - Transitions

Transition

Nathaniel and His Class

On June 30^th (which was also our 8^th anniversary!), Nathaniel graduated from the School Of Digital Film making through the University of the Nations. We are so proud of him! He did very well in the school, and has already been asked to help with several short films while he is doing the next step, which is the three month internship. On the 26^th of June it was 'Premier Night' for his school where they showed all of the short films that were made during the last three months. Nathaniel had two films, and one of them had K as one of the stars. So it was also her debut as an actress! They were both very excited. The films were so fun to watch and it was so great to see all they had accomplished. Of course I am rather partial to Nathaniel's films. His first was entitled; 'The Door' and it was about the trap of falling into temptation and the second was 'Perception', all about a man who threw away everything, simply because he was not realizing all that he already had.

Starting officially tomorrow is the internship for the film school. He will gain more experience in filming, and get to work with people who have more experience. Also he will have a chance to shoot another short film since the equipment is available for him to use while he is doing the internship. This school officially ends on September 23^rd. Our hope, and our plan as of now is to travel back to Wisconsin soon after, visit for a little while and then road trip down to North Carolina where my parents live and have the baby there. We will stop and visit my sister and his sister along the way. (Quickly of course so that we get there in time!)

The Miracle Nap

Right now on base it is 'transition week'. Other schools left on outreach, or went home, and tomorrow is 'arrival day' where all the people for the next quarter show up. It won't be as busy as last quarter though. It's so very different during transition week. The base is so quiet. It's rather peaceful! As I am writing this I just hear the sweet sounds of the birds outside and our fans blowing on me. BOTH kids are napping so I am seizing the moment. We had a couple of days where some friends let us use their car and we were able to go to the other side of the island and see some water falls, a small zoo, and go to a small mall! It was a fun little road trip and good for our family to spend some quality time together.

I was blessed to find a place as staff this quarter. I get to help two times a week at the boutique that I wrote about earlier where God provided a stroller for us! It is such a great ministry and I am happy to do what I can to help. It also helps lower our living costs on base if I am staff. A win, win situation!

Baby bean #3 is doing well (we are 24 weeks along now) and we found out that we will be having a girl! So excited for the fun little girl clothes to come. G is over his whooping cough and I am so grateful for the different things I found to help him through that time. I really felt God's hand over that whole situation. Please keep K in your prayers as she still has a cough that is just not wanting to be shaken. The doctors have no idea what it's from. Part of it could be the polluted air here because of the volcanic ash that is in the air. It can make it really hard for people to get over coughs. We are also trying to keep her away from dairy to see if that helps. Hard for a Wisconsin girl. Prayer for finances is also appreciated as we start looking at the prices for tickets back to the mainland, and the cost of getting down to NC. It can seem a little overwhelming at times, but we really feel that God will provide.

Hopefully soon I will be able to share Nathaniel's short films so you all can see them. I know that makes him nervous, but I think they are wonderful! Also K is such a cute little actress.  We hope you all are doing well!

Blessings from the Tracy family!

Family Selfie On the 4th of July

Send offerings and support to:

Good News Christian Center, 2293 Prairie Ave. Beloit, WI 53511.

Make checks payable to: GNCC with the memo saying 'support for Nathaniel and Elizabeth Tracy'.

Or go to www.paypal.com, press: 'Send Money' and enter: soccer_g_p@yahoo.com

New Every Morning

Things are stirring here on the YWAM base at University of the Nations in Kona. This is part of the YWAM life, it's bringing back so many memories. Discipleship Training Schools (DTS's) and so many other schools are either coming to an end or getting ready to go on their outreaches to other countries. The constant change brings a freshness and an excitement that you just don't see everywhere. It really helps you to see that 'His mercies are new every morning'!
Lamentations 3:22 - 23 (ESV)
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end;
They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.

What an amazing thing! What a great promise! It can be so easy to forget when life silently falls into a routine and we lose sight of the new things God wants to do in our lives. I think of how much my 4 year old daughter (K) really doesn't like change. She resists it. K wants to wear the same dresses, play with the same people, always wear the same shoes...and so on. But being part of a family that is open to wherever the Lord is leading has forced her to confront this very often. Because God often tells it's time for a change! It is so good for her. As much as I don't love the backlash that comes from a move, or people leaving, I know it is helping her to grow. I know how she feels, because often in the beginning I am resistant to change as well. My goal is to help her to lean on a God who NEVER changes but has new things for her all the time. I want Him to be our constant that we can hold on to.

Tomorrow (Friday) is the premier of all the short films that the students have made during the School of Digital Film Making and the School of Acting for the Screen. Nathaniel has two films that will be premiered and we couldn't be more proud. K will have her 'acting debut' as well. She is in two of the films. (One of them being her daddy's final project). I have seen some of the footage and I am really looking forward to seeing the finished product. He has put so much into his work. And so have all of his other classmates.

This weekend and next week we will be saying goodbye to many of our new friends, some of whom we will see for a few days when they return from outreach. So now we enter a new phase.
The excitement the students and staff have of expecting God to do something great during outreach is contagious. We will keep them in our prayers. Nathaniel will have a few days off where we will really enjoy having him around and then he begins his internship.

I know so many people have been praying for us, and we are grateful. I can feel the support of prayer. Please continue to pray for us as we start this new phase of life. After the internship ends at the end of September our hope is to head back to WI for a little bit and visit, then make our way down through Ohio to visit my sister, Virginia to visit Nathaniel's sister, and then have enough time to make it to North Carolina where my parents live for the baby to come. So many exciting things coming and we have a lot to look forward to!

At Rainbow Falls

Our little girl! AKA Baby Bean #3 at 21 weeks

Playing with friends and beating the heat!

Alert and Thankful

I was doing my Bible reading one night a few nights ago in Colossians. There was one particular verse that really stood out to me. Paul says to the church in Colosse   To "Devote themselves to prayer with ALERT minds and THANKFUL hearts". (Chapter 4 verse 2, emphasis my own). It made me think about why he had to say that. I pray often through the day. I could do better, you always can but I feel I often try to have a running dialogue with God. So why did this verse pop out at me so much? 

It struck me that as a woman, we are good multitaskers. I for one, often feel the need to be doing one thing while I am doing another. Like I am eating a late night snack as I write this! Hehe. So I am often doing something else or, like when I pray for the kids at night I am sometimes even thinking of something else, while I pray. Trying to do more than one thing at once. How can I feel God giving me the words to pray or even hear an answer from Him if I am not actually listening or paying attention!? Also I often hear people pray or I often start praying when I am upset, frustrated, stressed, or worried. Etc. But God has done so much for us, why would we not praise Him? So not to just speak to him with problems but to also come to Him when we are thankful, and to remember to thank Him when He answers prayers or provides for us. Paul knew the importance of setting apart times where you are just focusing on prayer, and talking to God. Why would he say to be alert? What are we being alert to? God! He is the one we are having a conversation with so we should be alert to His gentle prompting. He can be very subtle and you can often miss what He is saying completely if you are paying no attention. A conversation should be both ways. 

Anyway I obviously was very convicted by this! I have so many areas I need to work on and this is one of them. I just hope this can inspire someone else too. Because God loves to speak to His children. 

Nothing's gonna hold me back...

So in a previous post I remember mentioning how exhausted I was. Well I was, but this is a whole new level. At the end of April K started having a bad cough. It's something that's going around and also a health issue I believe I need to figure out with her (a food intolerance of some sort that pulls her immune system down so much that every time she gets sick it turns into this nasty cough that lasts for weeks). So sleep started getting interrupted on a regular bases by her coughing fits. I have taken her in two different times to the doctor and each time they could find nothing wrong with her and thought I was a little crazy. Sigh. Such is my life. Then, just as she was finally showing improvement at the end of May G started coughing. No!! Also I got the news about my Grandma. G's cough turned bad quickly and I took him in knowing this was different than K's. He couldn't breath during coughing fits and ended up puking one time. It was so scary. Then he was diagnosed with whooping cough. 

Oh.... The guilt. I had prayed and read about vaccines and which ones to do if I should do them before we moved, and that was one of the vaccines I had felt I should get them up to date on. And a few others. Living in community is a whole different ball game and I had felt I should get them up to do date on some things. Well I got pregnant and was so morning sick, I put it off and figured I'd do it in Hawaii. Then its so hard to get around here and insurance took so long to get together that I put it off again. All lame excuses. But that's how it went down. My poor baby. And of course we were quarantined to our room while the antibiotic ran its course so he would no longer be contagious. (K didn't have it). During this time my Grandma passed away. 

To put it lightly, I have a bucket of tears ready at each eye for whoever asks me how I'm doing. Bring a towel if you plan on asking me so you can clean up the mess please. Being pregnant, tired, and sad puts all your emotions out there like nothing else. 

At the same time, God always brings hope and healing. During worship two weeks ago they played a song and the chorus says;

'Nothing's gonna hold me back, Nothing's gonna keep me, from loving you for all you are worth'. 

I know in the song this is meant to be us singing this to God. And yes!! That's how it should be. NOTHING should hold me back, because I was made to love Him and He deserves my love through all situations. Also my kids, that nothing should hold me back from loving them because this is a precious time and I need to use it wisely. 

But that day when I was singing that song, we sang the chorus quite a few times. And I felt God switching it around. I felt HIM saying that to ME. 

Guys I almost broke down there in front of everybody. Bring out the towels. 

'Nothing's gonna hold me back, Nothing's gonna keep me, from loving you for all you are worth'. 

NOTHING. 

Not me not doing me quiet time, not me ignoring his prompting and procrastinating. Not me losing my patience with my kids because my fuse is ridiculously short right now... The list goes on. 

NOTHING. 

And that grace is what pulls you back in. Back to putting it all in his arms again and letting him take control. Asking for forgiveness and starting fresh. 

His mercies are new every morning. Thank you God. 

G is improving greatly although he still has coughing fits so please keep him in your prayers. K as well because that never ending cough is still present. Right now My husband's parents are here while his dad works on finishing up his Executive Masters program through University of the Nations. It is so good to have them here! N's pitch for a movie won along with two others (out of 12) for one of the final projects. So proud of him! Of course now he is working like a mad man to get that finished since he is the Director. So also pray for sleep and energy for him!

Thank you for listening to my blubbering. Here is a cute picture to bring a smile to your faces. (K and G ready to go see Grandma and Grandpa Tracy)

God Is Getting Us Through

Saturday of last week started 'shooting week' for Nathaniel's school. Kaleigh asked if they would be shooting nerf guns. Hahahahaha! Each person had to write a script (that went through multiple drafts), find the props, pick out actors, plan shots, figure out transportation and location logistics in order to create their first 5 minute short film. It is amazing how much work goes into just 5 minutes. They have all been stressing and wanting to get every detail exactly right. Send in a script, only to have it sent back saying it needed something else, ask for a location and then be turned down and so on, it was a long process of trying to get everything ready.
The group was divided into smaller groups of four and in those groups they would shoot each other's films. The one who wrote the film is of course the director and they are split into there rolls that I can't remember all of the names of. (Sound man, Camera man and.... the other person!! Assistant Director I believe? Those are not the technical names).
Here are some photos of Nathaniel on set during this school:

We got the privilege of being on set for one of the films. Originally Gideon and I were going to be in a scene (I did not sign up for acting school!!!), but because it was so close to nap time, Gideon wasn't cooperating and we were able to talk Kaleigh into doing it. The way the location worked out, they didn't need me in it after all. Phew!
At first Kaleigh was very shy but she ended up really enjoying it. She said, "Mommy I'm a movie star! Oh wait, It's time for action, I have to go!".
Silly girl. Of course I forgot to pull out my camera while on set *face palm*. But she did great.
I will say I gained a much larger respect for people who work in that industry. The scene they were shooting probably would only be a couple of minutes in the whole film but it took about six and a half hours to shoot it. No wonder it takes them so long to make feature films! I'm sure people who have had more experience do it a little faster but there are so many variables when shooting that change things as you go. The neighbor dogs barking, waiting for the rain to stop, the clouds going over the sun and then clearing up again. It all changes how you shoot. Also kids are not always the easiest to work with even if they are my kids. Especially if they are my kids??  Anyway, it was good to see what they do and get a feel for everything.
It has been an emotional week. Nathaniel working so hard (they are pulling some all nighters and he has not been feeling very good) because he wants to get everything just right and they have to do so much in so little time. Please be praying for him.
Also at the beginning of the week I found out that my Grandma was back in the hospital not doing well. She ended up having a second stroke (she had her first about two years ago) and this one affected her brain stem and they don't believe she will make it. She has been unresponsive for this whole week. My dad and all of his siblings went to be with her and she was transported to a good hospice facility close enough for my Grandpa to be only 5 minutes away when he is at home. This is a hard time for my family, it will be so hard to say good bye to my Grandma, she will be missed so much.
It is really hard for me to this far from family right now and knowing that all I can really do is pray. I know prayer is effective and so important but is hard to know I can't be there.
So again we appreciate your prayers, they mean a lot to us.

This picture is my Grandma with the kids last July. 

Psalm 34:18b (NIV)

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted...

Dirt, Mess, Chaos, and Freedom.

I was watching a live stream of  Susi Childers speak the other day. I think it was two days ago. She spoke on how our relationship with God changes through the different phases of our life. It was interesting to me because I hadn't thought of how much things changing and the different stages we were in, would affect how I relate to God.
So I thought I would throw this video in here in case you would like to see her speak, she is a great speaker and I appreciated what she shared.  (She doesn't start speaking until about 54 Minutes in! But there is some great worship in the beginning if you want to see it, or you can just skip ahead.)
Livestream Video of Susi Childers

But I was also thinking about how I had mentioned earlier how dirty kids show me that at the end of the day they have had a great time.
Exhibits A., B., and C.

 


Have you ever had a time where you just went all in and didn't care about the mess? And it was great? I remember a few different times in Panama back when we lived there. One was playing soccer right after it rained. It rains a lot in Panama. Now I'm not good at soccer, but it can be fun to run around and kick a ball at people. Just saying. Ha! Anyway, we went up to play and as we started playing the mud was caking onto our shoes and making it impossible to run. So we did away with the shoes. We just played and we were FULL of mud. It was fun! Another time was when it was raining (I'm telling you it rains a lot in Panama), and instead of moping around inside, I ran outside and played, and danced in the rain with some of the other girls from my DTS and a couple of our DTS staff ladies.
There is something so freeing and there is a sweet release when we just go ALL in and don't care about the mess along the way. The rain was a bit easier to clean up than the mud. But they were still times that I will never forget.
How often do we have to hold onto control and we try to keep the reins tightly in our hands and make sure we know which way everything is going to go? As if we could really control things? I do this so often. I see it in the way I'm watching my kids and I try to let my self relax more often and let them do those fun things that are going to make bath time more interesting and laundry a little harder. Because those are the times they will remember. I highly doubt they will remember having clean clothes at the end of the day. That would be an impossible goal anyway!
Following God can get messy sometimes. But it's a beautiful mess. Only God can make beauty out of chaos.

Genesis 1 King James Version (KJV)

1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

Sounds like in the beginning it was a little chaotic!

I recently read this quote;
"Chaos in the beginning is something else—the first and crucial stage of creation, and just about every creation myth I’ve ever read, from the Bible to Greek myths to native folk tales, confirms this is so. Chaos precedes order." - Dale M. Kushner
So interesting. And it's true! Sometimes it seems like things have to be crazy for a while before order comes. I remember when our room would get really messy as a kid and my mom would come in and literally throw ALL of our stuff into a pile in the middle of the floor. Then we would throw away the stuff we didn't need and try to put all of the other stuff away before she thought we didn't need it anymore and decide to throw it away herself! Chaos became order. 
I want to learn to embrace these moments that at the time can feel so out of control, and so chaotic. Because God works through chaos. If God has called you into something, know that there will be moments of craziness! But if God has called you to it, the end result will be beautiful. He is an artist. You can see that in creation everywhere you go. Other artists spend so much time trying to capture the original art that is all around us. Because it is so unique. Each person and situation is unique. 
I will leave you with this song by Gungor. I love how songs can just allow God to speak to our hearts in a way that nothing else can. At least for me it can be that way. 
The song is Beautiful Things by Gungor and here are just some of the lyrics from the chorus, let them sink in;
'You make beautiful things / You make beautiful things out of the dust / You make beautiful things / You make beautiful things out of us'

Gungor - Beautiful Things - Youtube

What Really Matters

Well I almost didn't post today. (Meaning late Thursday night, I did edit this a little on Friday). To be honest... I almost didn't take a shower today! I have learned that if I let myself sit down and relax for a minute, it's really hard to get my butt back up again and do what needs to be done. My kids were clean and sleeping, and I almost joined them but decided I should be clean too.
Often for me, when I take a shower I am able to clear my head and do some thinking. I thought about the what the speaker they had tonight at the corporate base meeting, shared. I have heard Dan Baumann speak before and he has an amazing testimony to share and so much wisdom. I was excited to hear him speak again and I was able to catch snippets of what he said as I made sure my kids weren't running out to the road, or falling on the concrete as they enjoyed playing with their friends. He has written three books, and the one I read was called Imprisoned In Iran. He was a prisoner in an Iranian prison for 9 weeks. Here is a link to his website if you are interested in reading more about him and his experiences; http://www.danbaumann.com/.
He shared about Joy and being joyful in all circumstances no matter what you were going through. To be straightforward I realized how petulant and childish I was being! And of course it's not like you can just decide to be joyful. It's not something that happens automatically. I remember my mom often telling me as a child, "You need to change your attitude!". It took me a LONG time to understand how that was even possible. Because in that moment when you FEEL one way it is so easy to let your emotions guide you, and just flow with it. Choosing to stop, use your head (I look at my life and see how amazingly BLESSED I am. Look at the people in Nepal! Pastor Saeed who has been imprisoned in Iran since September of 2012! There is always something to put life back into perspective.) And chose to Praise God anyway. Emotions change. But God never does.
One thing Dan Baumann talked about was God showing him that he was enough. He is not married and went through a time where He struggled with letting God be his everything. I related to this although you may not think so (since I married at 18), but because I went through this right in the beginning of marriage. Marriage doesn't complete you, your husband sure doesn't, Because there is only ONE who completes you. God had to pull me out of my emotions and expectations in the beginning and remind me that He is the one who created me, loves me more than anyone, and can fulfill my every need and there really is no one else who can. He reminds me again, and again, whenever I need it and will listen. Sometimes my ears are sealed shut, but not tonight.
I was reading in Philippians and these verses stood out to me: 1:10-11 'For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ's return. May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation - the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ - for this will bring much glory and praise to God."
What really matters? What God has done for us! I don't want you to think that God doesn't care about whatever is going on in your life right now. I know God knows our hearts desires, and that He hurts for us when we are hurting. He wants us to go to Him for everything and cast all of our cares onto him! But the beauty of it, is that even when we are going through a desert period, or through a storm or whatever is happening, we have someone to go to who can heal that pain and help you look to better things. There is so much joy in God. He wants to fulfill us in every way and help us through the pain and past it. I know He has so much more for me and I need to be actively pursing it. Pursuing Him. Honestly I sometimes get lazy. I often get lazy. I am working on it.
This has gotten really long. But I just want to leave you with this song because so often God brings it back to my mind when I am feeling tired, and frustrated and just need Him to wash over me.

"Desert Song"

[Verse 1:]
This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

(Here is the link to the music video with lyrics)
The Desert Song - Hillson


Let Him wash over you and fill those empty places that have been aching for someone to fill. I hope I can bring myself out of my self pity more often and look to Him and allow Him to just wash over me. Because there is no one else and nothing else that can do that like He can. I'm sure I don't even know the half of it.