A Steady Beat

After the last post (two months ago!), Nathaniel started working on a movie set and although we saw him every now and then, he was basically gone for a month. This job was a huge blessing in so many ways, but as I saw that month coming I steeled myself up for it. When he is gone the burden of caring for house and home became a little heavier. Play dates, staff meetings, home school... it all added up and we kept ourselves busy enough to keep ourselves afloat. A rhythm was established for while dad was gone. When he was done, we were so happy to have him home! But we needed to reestablish our old rhythm and take time as a family to reconnect. All in all, it's been a great two months.
As the days roll I find a peace in the steady beat of life. We are accustomed to the ebb and flow of people here on the campus, we are accustomed to community living. In reality, I love it.
Christmas is upon us and I love passing the joy, hope, and excitement of the season to my children. Decorating, baking, (although Christmas cookies six at a time in a toaster oven is not ideal!), Christmas tree, putting money in the salvation army bucket, carols... all leading to the one day where we celebrate the Savior who left his rightful place up in heaven to come to us as a humble babe born in a stable.
This time of year stirs up my heart with so much love. And yet, just like that *snaps fingers* it will be over. We build up to it...and then it's done. And we go back to that steady rhythm.
As I was reading in my Bible the other day I read the verse where it talks about being a living sacrifice. Romans 12:1 'Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. ' 
As I live and breathe, I should be a living sacrifice. At all times. Dying to self, giving back to God and giving to others. This sounds exhausting. I think of my steady beat through life and I get exhausted just thinking about what it would take to do that. But then in this special time God showed me a different picture. Here is the month leading up to His birth. I LOVE this time and so I put the extra effort forth to bake, decorate, teach the kids about baby Jesus and what that means for them, and all of the things that have to do with Christmas. On TOP of what I already have to do. It should be extra exhausting but it's not, because it brings me so much joy. Celebrating Jesus brings me joy! LIFE should be this way. Teaching my kids how amazing it is to have a relationship with God, Preparing them for the joys and challenges of adulthood, and knowing that God has great plans for me and that won't ever change. Celebrating Jesus all the time. All year, should be a celebration of Him. The one who gave so much and showed the ultimate example of what it means to sacrifice. I feel I can look at the coming year with expectation. Celebrating life and the One who gave us life so abundantly!

Merry Christmas Everyone! <3

A Silent Freight Train

Do you ever have phases where every time you look at the calendar you do a double take? What?! How is February already ending? Where did the time go? Just one year ago we were surprised by finding out we were having a baby. Now I'm holding a four month old in my arms. My oldest daughter will be five at the end of April and my son will be three next month. 

Time is a like a sneaky, silent freight train. 

You can feel it passing but it's just like wind on your face and you don't realize until you look up that the cars are flying past you and there is nothing you can do to stop it. So much happens in such a small amount of time. 

We are still in the midst of this change. At times I get overwhelmed and I have to pile it all back at God's feet and lift up my hands in surrender. 

I will be the first to admit that trust doesn't come easily to me. And why? Has God ever let me down? No. All I know is that whenever I doubt, and worry, instead of patronizing me He always comforts me. Reassures me. 

We are working on support raising as we get ready to go back on the mission field and as I see the stark difference in the $2200 a month we will need in Hawaii with our three children and the small amount we needed back when it was just the two of us in Panama, my first reaction is fear. I'm just being honest. 

Then I get those gentle reminders from God that HE is in control. And as much as I like to have things under control,it is a huge weight off my shoulders to put it in His capable hands. His will be done. Not mine. Tonight this verse was one of His loving reminders to me. 

19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. (Isaiah 43:19 NIV)

Yes. I DO perceive it. And I know he will make a way. No, I do not consider North Carolina a wasteland! Ha. But yes the constant moving around these last two years has been wearing. I am so ready be in one place for a while. In all this I am so grateful for the streams in the wilderness.  The friends we have made, the experiences we've had, our family. 

As time goes chugging silently by, I'll try to admire each moment, each train car, and remember it. And be thankful for it. Not worrying. But living.