His Plans

When I was a little girl I remember always playing that I got married and had kids. Besides every once in a while being 'deserted on an island', that was usually our go to game. Family. I always loved babies, I would hold them every chance I got and play with them. When I got old enough, I baby sat. I remember hopping on my bicycle when I was about 14 or so and riding around our neighborhood out in the country and introducing my self to families and letting them know I babysat and giving them my number. (I think back on that now and some of those people had me babysit and had never met me before!! Craziness.)
I sought out taking care of kids. My first 'real' job was as a swimming instructor to young kids. I still miss that job because I loved it.
It is just part of the American Dream that I always figured I would have to finish high school, Go to college and THEN think about raising a family. When I met my husband we still both really had that mentality. I was 17 when we were finally 'official' and he was 18. He had plans to go to college for aviation and I was going to go to college in Chicago for nursing. Besides thinking it would be really fun to live in Chicago, I really didn't want to go to college. I love the medical field but at that time I felt NO desire to be going to school. Nathaniel at first would have been only a couple hours away from me, but then that option wouldn't work out and the only other option was him going to Arizona for school. The more we prayed and tried to figure things out, the less we felt going to college was our next step. Our parents prayed, we prayed, and through that time we eventually decided to get married quickly (we had three months to plan the wedding) and go do a five month Discipleship Training School in Panama. I was 18 and he was 19 when we married.
It was so out of the normal, and yet it felt just right for us. Many people advised us against getting married so young but we knew what God had told us. It has been 8 years and we have two kids and another on the way. It hasn't always been easy, we had a lot of growing up to do together and still do! But I do believe God led us and we have been walking in His leading ever since.
I was talking to a girl yesterday. She was my age and she asked about when I got married and everything. She looked SO discouraged to find out I already had two kids and another on the way and had already been married for 8 years. I almost thought she was going to cry. My heart went out to her and I really didn't know all what to say. Now I was encountering the opposite of what I usually heard, and here was a girl who was wondering if she had done something wrong and that was why she wasn't married yet. She said she had never really had a boyfriend and asked if that was bad. Oh how the lies of this world can mess with your mind! Of course that's not wrong! She always prayerfully considered a man and became his friend first and was led by God. Just because you are doing it the right way, doesn't mean it will happen right away. I tried to encourage her and tell her how awesome and great it was that she was waiting and that it took so much strength. Living a life where you are being led by God is not always easy, and it doesn't usually go as you planned. Two years ago Hawaii was not even a location in my mind that I thought we would ever live. But I am taught something new every place we go. I am SO blessed that my childhood dream of getting married and becoming a mommy happened early and I wouldn't change a thing. But I look up to the women who don't lower their expectations and won't settle for less than God has for them because they know they are the daughters of the Most High King and He has just the right one for them! And I also have a great respect for those women that have accepted that God will be the only One and they have learned how to love him for all they are worth.
It would be so hard to do life on your own. I can't imagine going through the drama of boyfriend, husband, two years of infertility, and now being a mom and moving constantly, all by myself. I am so grateful to be led.
One of my favorite verses and one that always challenges me is:
Jeremiah 29:11 'For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'
So much comfort in that verse. And when I pray about the future, there are desires in my heart, and things that I want to do, but at the same time I feel that the time for that will come and right now I need to keep at the task at hand. Supporting Nathaniel through this journey while at the same time being the best mom I can. So that leaves me with plenty of homework and things to keep me busy!
The safest place is in God's will. There's no place that I'd rather be.